


Random Thoughts

by dead_on_the_inside



Category: Original Work
Genre: Cross-Posted on Wattpad, Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified, Emo, Hispanic Character, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Multi, Piercings, Rating May Change, Self-Harm, Spanish is used some, Tags May Change, Warnings May Change, an overuse of swearing, bc why tf not???, dont laugh ok, im using the homestuck skin for the formatting, mostly in chapters centering around Elias, ok good youre not laughing, thank you
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-09
Updated: 2021-03-15
Packaged: 2021-03-16 00:16:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,676
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29941593
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dead_on_the_inside/pseuds/dead_on_the_inside
Summary: Kansas "Case" Owens only has one thing to look forward to most years: his boyfriend from another town coming over for the summer. The small town where he lives is a pretty big tourist destination, and being a too-skinny, too-short seventeen-year-old who lives in oversized black hoodies and band tees, he's pretty much ignored. And he likes it that way, pushing most people away with snarky comments and and an overuse of swearing. But Jax has been kind to him for a long time, the only one who's spent the time to break through Case's walls. And then, a new boy comes to town, bringing with him a wild spirit that brings Case along for the ride. How will a boy who doesn't know how to deal with these two kinds of love, in a world that seems out to get him, find out how live- really live, with the heart-pounding adventures and warm home that he finds in the boys he loves.
Relationships: Elias Torrez-Sanchez/Jax Martin/Kansas "Case" Owens, Elias Torrez-Sanchez/Kansas "Case" Owens, Jax Martin/Kansas "Case" Owens, Original Male Character/Original Male Character/Original Male Character
Kudos: 2





	1. They left us alone, the kids in the dark To burn out forever, or light up a spark

**Author's Note:**

> i dont think this first chapter has any triggers  
> still, there will be some later in the book, i'll add those in the authors note when needed  
> stay safe :)
> 
> this book has a spotify playlist! check it out here: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6JZUBWuJonjXZlde0Aq8m6?si=Pf1T8Zu5RSiUKpyU5_zqIA
> 
> my tumblr: https://justadavekin.tumblr.com/

You see him for the first time when you’re just a kid. You can’t even really remember how old you were—maybe six or seven. Probably seven, since you spent most of your life, until then, in a world of your own. Or rather, making up whatever you could to escape from the world in whatever closet you were in (literally and metaphorically). But for most of your life, you just saw him in the summers, out of the corner of your eye. There were plenty of tourists in the town where you lived, mostly all there for the fair and the food, and all of them there because it was cheaper than a trip to somewhere fancy like _Disneyland_ or _Six Flags_.

But then you turn 13 and that summer, when he comes down to town like he always does, he seems like the only one that cares. The only one that notices.

But the first thing you think when you see him is _what kind of asshole is sitting in_ ** _my_** _clearing_. Because that place is your escape, from the world and from the eyes that pry and from the sounds and feelings and anything that feels like too much. Everyone around town knows to avoid this area because according to a bunch of bullshit legends it’s the most popular spot for spooky spirits and fake demons. Frankly, you couldn’t give less of a fuck if some shitty asshole tried to possess you, because you’re pretty sure it’d take about five minutes being in your life to decide it wasn’t worth it.

Either way, there is another person, a tourist nonetheless, in your clearing.

“What. The. Fuck. Are you. Doing. Here.” you say it as a statement, not a question. Because it is a statement, and he absolutely cannot be here.

“Oh. uh. I was just appreciating the scenery?”

You mutter a bunch of shit about ghost-hunting tourists and he blinks at you slowly.

“Is that a _Set It Off_ hoodie? I love _Set It Off_ , dude! It’s great.” He has hair that's dyed a brilliant, eccentric blue down to his chin, styled in messy layers that falls half over his face. The bit of his hair that isn’t dyed brightly is bleached to an almost white-silver color, but you can see plain brown roots peaking through in some places. He’s sitting on a log on the ground, leaning back against the rock that sits behind it. Standing, you think he’d probably be a few inches taller than you.

Naturally, you ignore him, taking a step back and finding the same branch on the tree you always do. Shitty, cheap as hell skateboard under one arm, you swing up on the branch before clumsily jumping to the top of the rock. It's flat on top and smooth all the way down the side, making it almost impossible to get on the rock unless you go the way that you just did.

You expect him to go away. He doesn’t. Instead, he keeps talking.

“What’s your favorite song of theirs? Mine’s probably _Killer in the Mirror._ I just think it’s awesome! Like, with how it's done it's just so amazing! Oh what other bands do you like? Some of my favorites are probably-” He just keeps talking. And talking. And _talking._

And yet, somehow, it’s not awful. It’s a little annoying, sure, but it isn’t bad. It’s almost calming to hear him go on about the music he likes. His music taste is also fairly similar to yours, which is probably a good sign. Him talking about it, you can tell it’s something he cares about, and somehow that makes a little flutter start in your stomach. You really don’t want to think about why.

He’s there again the next day, except this time he gets there after you. He still talks, but halfway through he asks you how to get up on the rock. You just tell him to fuck off. He laughs and keeps talking, smiling all the way. You might feel something melt in your chest.

He’s there, day after day, talking and talking about everything in the world. After three weeks you show him how to get up on the rock, and after four he manages to actually do it correctly and not fall on his ass. He tells you his life story and the things he likes and everything in between. He tells and retells tale after tale and rambles about anything and everything that comes to his mind. You think it’s beautiful, how he does that. How he doesn’t care that if it was anyone else they’d tell him to shut up. Or maybe he’s just never had that experience. Either way, you think that his freedom to talk about things is amazing. It’s almost when summer ends that he gives you his ChatApp username.

You don’t have an account yet, but you make one to be able to talk to him. 


	2. Cut me Deep but I won't Bleed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Case meeting Eli

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi again, this isn't my best work but its something XD
> 
> also i recently finished watching banana fish (thx for making me watch that, kae) please send help i cant stop crying
> 
> TW: EATING DISORDER (MOSTLY MENTIONED), LACK OF EATING (AND THE SIDE EFFECTS)
> 
> i think thats it? please tell me if i missed any!
> 
> stay safe :)

"Kansas! Hey, dumbass, it's time to get up!" You groan as Emma shoves her way into your room loudly. Well, it's not actually a room, it's just the closet [insert gay joke here] in the hallway where you have to sleep most of the time, since your aunt rents out most of the rooms in the house to tourists. It's not bad, and you actually really don't mind the small space; it's easier to decorate and you don't really need too much stuff anyways. You have a mattress made out of shittily sewn together pieces of foam that covers the entire floor. You have the walls covered head-to-toe in posters, one wall painted black and the others painted a dark red. Your clothes hang above you and most of your stuff is either stuck on the shelf above you crammed into the corners. It's a little small and you have to sleep kind of curled up, but you're short enough that it isn't too bad most of the time. It is cold in the winters though, so that sucks.

"Emma! Don't use language like that!"

Your three sisters (the twins are younger than you, and Olivia's two years older) share a room with your Aunt Casey, who none of you are actually related to. She adopted Olivia when her husband was still alive, and Olivia was nine. Then after Uncle Crowley died she adopted Emma and Cassidy, who are twins that probably would've gotten separated if she hadn't adopted them. You're the newest addition to her nest, only having been adopted by her when you were fourteen, a year after the twins were. Apparently she wanted a challenge after having fostered a lot of kids and adopting a lot as well.

So she went for you, scourge of the local group home; the kid that refused to leave his hometown and practically murdered anyone that tried to get him to leave. You don't really _know_ why you cling to this place like it's your life source. But you do. And you aren't leaving this place until you're ready.

You make your way to the table in the dining room, the current guests already sitting with plates of Aunty's special chocolate pancakes seated in front of them.

"Kansas! Hi, you snuck away too early yesterday to meet these two! Sam, Sydney, this is my other kiddo, Kansas! Kansas, these guys are staying with us for two weeks, so please try to be nice!" Aunty says it with the same energy she does everything with: a fucking tonne.

"Clearly, that's obviously what I fucking do best" You say, biting it with sarcasm.

"Kansas! Be polite." Aunty chides at you, as the two strangers laugh a little. She pulls out the chair near the end of the table, next to where Olivia is moping about her latest breakup, stuffing her face full of pancakes. Aunty sets down a plate with one pancake-she's figured out by now that trying to put more on your plate just dissuades you from actually eating.

You pick at it for a minute before pulling out your notebook and glaring at the pancakes. Todays going to be one of the bad days then.

~~~

"Everyone, we have a new student today, Elias, please introduce yourself," Ms. Trinity says with the same bored tone that she always talks with. A boy with a flop of coarse, dark brown hair and mischievous grin is standing in front of your class.

"My name is Eli, I'm moving here Rosewell, New Mexico, and no, aliens aren't real!" He says it all with the same trouble-makers grin.

"That's great," Ms. Trinity says, like it's a thing that very much isn't, "You can sit in the seat in the back, next to Kansas. I believe you have most of your classes with him, actually. Kansas, would you mind showing Eli around for today?"

Goddamnit. Eli makes his way to the seat next to you, stretching out as he sits down and flashing you a grin. You glare at him. He gives a little laugh, pulling a piece of paper out of his backpack and handing it to you. When you unfold it, you find his schedule. Your teacher was right, the only classes you don't have with him are English and music. God. Fucking. Damnit.

~~~

"So, where are we going for lunch? Please tell me you know somewhere we can ditch? I'm bored as fuck in here," The only break you got from him was your second period music class, and he's been driving you insane all day. He didn't even leave you alone after one of the other boys had warned him that he could catch "the faggot disease" and that he should be careful not to contract "gay". All he'd done is raise an eyebrow and continue to bug you. Normally, that wouldn't be a bad thing; you didn't exactly have many people that were very willing to hang out with you. The problem came from the fact that this dude was constantly trying to get you in trouble.

Not that you mind.

"Fine, c'mon," you say, pulling him along with the crowd by his upper arm. You step past the doors to the lunchroom, moving away from the crowd in a move you've pulled a jillion times. Except, lucky you, today's the day a teacher notices. You'd bet it's got something to do with the fact there's two of you this time, and somehow, Eli seems to draw attention to himself way too easily.

"Where are you two going? It's lunch time."

"Oh, I have a stomach ache. I figured this would be a perfect time to show Eli where the nurses office is, anyway," something you learn from being in a group home and living in a small town your whole life; lying through your teeth. Besides, you're kind of known to get stomach aches. That probably has more to do with not eating enough than anything, but it's normal enough for you that you doubt the teacher will care.

"... Okay, fine, but make sure to eat something, and get back here as soon as you're done. You need a pass anyways, here," she sighs before saying anything, handing you the pass without any more questions. The bad thing about that is that now you actually _do_ have to go to the nurses office, since they count out the slips and who actually shows up.

You let out an annoyed breath once she's gone. You pull him along without hesitation, dragging him to the nurses office, muttering only the smallest explanation as to why when he asks. The nurse doesn't give a single fuck if you skip anyway.

When you open the door to the small room, Mrs. Wilson smiles at you.

"Hi Kansas, how are you doing? Oh, who's this? Are you the new student? It's great to meet you, my name is Mrs. Wilson," she introduces herself with a kind smile, sticking out her hand in greeting. Eli shakes it quickly and then introduces himself back. You aren't really paying any attention.

"Hi, can I have some applesauce? My stomach isn't feeling well and I forgot to bring lunch. Then we can be out of your hair. Please" you add that as an afterthought, trying not to be rude.

"Oh, of course! Here you go hun, but do remember your lunch more, it's the fourth time this month you've had to come in," You nod, muttering out a quick thank you and booking it out of there as fast as possible. You shove the applesauce into your backpack for later, knowing that you definitely won't be able to choke it down right now.

You lead Eli out of the hallways that twist around, into the old wing of the school. It's been around for over fifty years, and the only classrooms here are used for the freshmen, which means that you're in the clear until you get to the back doors. You pause when you get there, staring Eli dead in the eyes.

"You can't tell anyone about this. It's secret."

"Damn, alright, I won't, but... why?"

"It's the only place at school that has signal. If anyone found out, everyone'd be out here." _besides, it's too pretty for a bunch of teenaged assholes to fuck up,_ You think. And it's true, the area that you're leading him to is a little out of the way, but there's grass and trees and in the spring flowers bloom. The tree near the middle has your initials carved next to Jax's inside a heart with a little '+' between them. You had carved that into it when you were fourteen, right after Jax had left for that year. Right after he kissed you for the first time.

He stares when you get there, glancing around. It's in the back of the school, tucked up in a little crevice in the back, the part that leads to the woods. The fence that goes around the school has just enough of an opening between it and the wall at the back of the school to slip through. There's a piece of wood that Eli sits on that opens up to the crawl space under the school. You climb up into the tree while your phone goes wonko with receiving all the messages that Jax has sent you through the day.

You and Eli sit there in the comfortable kind of silence that washes over you as you respond to Jax, telling him about your day so far before he starts ranting about how annoying his Spanish teacher is for what you think is the 20th time in two weeks. God you love him. You aren't required to take a Spanish class like he is, but you do have to take a language class, so you decided to take Spanish purely so that you could just ask Jax for help. You found out halfway through the first day that you were ten thousand times better than everyone else in class just from having heard Jax do the thing where he sometimes slips into talking in Spanish. Sometimes he'd forget the english words for things even though it was his first language, and you'd have to look them up for him. That was always more common during finals week when he had to take an exam in spanish for almost an entire school day. The school he goes to is _serious_ about this shit.

You and Eli end up in your shared AP History class ten minutes late. You were the only person in class without a partner on the class project, so he ends up working with you. Frankly, you're starting to think that this is all some fucked up fanfiction someone's writing because they read a book about some emo kids falling in love after their boyfriends died and was sad so they made the characters based off of the other ones and made it so they all had happily ever after. Or maybe the universe just wants to see you suffer. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeah not a great chapter but at least im updating this work (unlike my other one lmao) and i think i get a pass bc i relapsed *hard* after finishing Banana Fish
> 
> .... im still gonna watch it again
> 
> damn
> 
> im an idiot


End file.
